Those who don't like, and/or, have been disappointed by their parents or the realization of the lack of quality in their marriage, are more likely to embrace in-laws.
And if that's correct, are people who adore their own parents, strive to have a marriage like that of their parents, and/or are especially close with/defensive of their own parents less likely to embrace in-laws?
I can go with the admiring your in-laws part. I'm not so sure about the not getting along with your in-laws part though...I think this may be the case sometimes, but not always. I have a friend whose mother in-law is seriously out of control--I think she'd like to have a mother-in-law she could respect, but just can't in her situation...hmm...I'll have to think on this one.
It's always easier, at least for me, to like people you respect and/or admire. Both things of which are earned. So when you see them do things that are... appalling you lose that respect you used to have for them.
There's also this book my husband read in college - the Doctor's Wife or something. About the rivalry that Mother's of sons have with their future daughter-in-laws.
My thoughts - this occurs when the Mother-in-law is not happy in her marriage and with her own self that she resorts to meddling.
I have dated guys that I liked their families WAY more than I ever liked them. I just didn't get lucky to get the two combined. But I got the most important part.
The other thing is... getting married and dealing with in-laws have shown me how I seriously hit the jackpot with my Mother and Father. I thought I appreciated them, but it wasn't until I learned about my husband's childhood that I was like... I SCORED bigtime!
Yes. My mom always told me, "Never marry the first born son in a family because you will never be good enough for his mother." Uh, what? That was the situation she found herself in, but since when is that true for everyone? Now that her son is married, does my mom think that of his wife? No, she does not.
I am still, to this day, very close friends with my high school boyfriend's mom. Her friendship means so much to me. She was initially sad when she found out that I was getting married to someone other than her son, but then she met D and she loves him. She sends gifts to my children. It's a friendship that I cherish.
I married the first born son, and I am probably not good enough for him, but sucks to CayCay if that is the case! :)I think that it is all just family, and God gives us family to make us deal with people that we never would choose on our own. Luckily, my family is all relatively (get the pun?) great.
Hi, found you from Jenny's blog. I, too, married the first born eldest son. I'm the first born eldest daughter. We have the only grandchild of both sides. AND I adore my mother-in-law. In fact, I think I like her more than my husband sometimes :) Like Jen said, sometimes they drive me a little nuts, but how else would we know they're family?
10 comments:
No - you're lucky. ;-)
I also like mine.
Here's a theory we can all chew on:
Those who don't like, and/or, have been disappointed by their parents or the realization of the lack of quality in their marriage, are more likely to embrace in-laws.
Discuss.
And if that's correct, are people who adore their own parents, strive to have a marriage like that of their parents, and/or are especially close with/defensive of their own parents less likely to embrace in-laws?
I love my inlaws, but I also am driven crazy by them. I think that is how I know that they are my family. I would hate it any other way.
I can go with the admiring your in-laws part. I'm not so sure about the not getting along with your in-laws part though...I think this may be the case sometimes, but not always. I have a friend whose mother in-law is seriously out of control--I think she'd like to have a mother-in-law she could respect, but just can't in her situation...hmm...I'll have to think on this one.
It's always easier, at least for me, to like people you respect and/or admire. Both things of which are earned. So when you see them do things that are... appalling you lose that respect you used to have for them.
There's also this book my husband read in college - the Doctor's Wife or something. About the rivalry that Mother's of sons have with their future daughter-in-laws.
My thoughts - this occurs when the Mother-in-law is not happy in her marriage and with her own self that she resorts to meddling.
I have dated guys that I liked their families WAY more than I ever liked them. I just didn't get lucky to get the two combined. But I got the most important part.
The other thing is... getting married and dealing with in-laws have shown me how I seriously hit the jackpot with my Mother and Father. I thought I appreciated them, but it wasn't until I learned about my husband's childhood that I was like... I SCORED bigtime!
Yes. My mom always told me, "Never marry the first born son in a family because you will never be good enough for his mother." Uh, what? That was the situation she found herself in, but since when is that true for everyone? Now that her son is married, does my mom think that of his wife? No, she does not.
I am still, to this day, very close friends with my high school boyfriend's mom. Her friendship means so much to me. She was initially sad when she found out that I was getting married to someone other than her son, but then she met D and she loves him. She sends gifts to my children. It's a friendship that I cherish.
I married the first born son, and I am probably not good enough for him, but sucks to CayCay if that is the case! :)I think that it is all just family, and God gives us family to make us deal with people that we never would choose on our own. Luckily, my family is all relatively (get the pun?) great.
Hi, found you from Jenny's blog. I, too, married the first born eldest son. I'm the first born eldest daughter. We have the only grandchild of both sides. AND I adore my mother-in-law. In fact, I think I like her more than my husband sometimes :)
Like Jen said, sometimes they drive me a little nuts, but how else would we know they're family?
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